Bunch(es) of Fun: Forgiveness

I have been meaning to write this blog for 2 weeks now... but better late than never, I suppose.

Two weeks ago I had the privilege of traveling to Nashville, TN with several of my Wesley Urban Fellows classmates to participate in a lecture series on mass incarceration and also to visit the Riverbend High Security Penitentiary with pastor and educator Rev. Janet Wolf.

We heard a beautiful and compelling speech by Michelle Alexander, author of "The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness" (see here for the book: http://www.newjimcrow.com/). This event, sponsored by this amazingly radical little college called American Baptist College (http://www.abcnash.edu/), was thought-provoking and disturbing at the same time. For more info, I encourage you to check out Alexander's novel.

However, the part of our trip that had the most impact on me was our visit to Riverbend (http://www.tn.gov/correction/institutions/rmsi.html).

Rev. Wolf, along with other educators from the Nashville area, have been working at this prison for nearly 15 years alongside "insiders" (as the inmates are called) in order to build a group within the prison. This group, consisting of approximately 15 insiders, has been meeting regularly for years and is self-directed and self-determining. In these meetings, they discuss books, theology, education, and their lives. They are a community.

I was so excited to meet with these men- after hearing my friend Doug talk about it, they sounded like the closest thing to our community/student exchanges in Thailand, which I missed deeply. Thus, after being searched and allowed into the prison (I even had to shake my bra out ha), we were led through a maze of buildings, barbed wire, high fences, men with huge guns, and open green spaces to a room with a group of men sitting around outside. Due to my faster than normal walking pace, I was one of the first to arrive in the room.

In some ways, this was my greatest fear. I have always felt uncomfortable around large groups of men, especially those I know has been convicted of violent crimes. But, due to my training both abroad and in SC, I knew that I needed to take a deep breath and jump in without thinking through all that.

Any fear I had was soon alleviated- I was greeted with big smiles and handshakes. We walked around introducing ourselves and reveling in the welcome of the place. Each person I met greeted me with such openness and care- it was like truly meeting someone, without all the pretensions and masks we often wear in public. In this room, I felt as if I had entered one of the most "real" spaces of my life.

We sat down, each of the Wesley students between two of the insiders to mix up the groups. I laughed with the men at my sides, and felt such joy at being welcomed into that room with them. What a privilege to really feel like we were sitting at God's table, communing with one another and loving one another.

Any curiosities about their crimes, or why they were at Riverbend, evaporated as we sat in the room. As we went around and shared (insiders first, then Wesley folks), I shared that I knew the criminal system was racist because I thought/think that way. I criminalized black males for much of my life, and had a fear of them as the "other." As I shared this, a light went on in one of the inmates eyes. He eagerly wished to speak with me more, but the exchange was ending. Quickly, he said "I really want to address your comment." We sat down as everyone hurried around us and he asked "Have you ever seen the movie A Time to Kill??" I said I hadn't, and he briefly explained the plot in which a black man is accused of a crime and hires a white lawyer to defend him. This insider, JBaby, ended by saying "He said that he chose this lawyer because he knows how they think. This person was chosen because they used to think like that, and now they can help because they know how they think." I was struck by this, and it stuck with me as I left the prison. (Here is the trailer to the movie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O90-DO9P6q0)

In fact, this small interaction has stuck with me in the weeks after the trip. As I struggle to discern God's plan for my life, I keep coming back to the words of JBaby in Riverbend, paraphrased as they are: "I called you because you know how they think."

What a powerful statement, what a beautiful insight for my life... from a man that society teaches us is a criminal who deserves to rot away in prison. The Bible calls us to prison ministry, but not because we need to tell folks in prison anything. The Bible calls us to this for our own souls, so that we may love deeply and build community with all of God's creation. I was moved and changed through my experience, especially after leaving the prison and discovering more about the crimes committed.

This is why I titled this post "forgiveness." After meeting and learning alongside a former Catholic priest convicted of molesting young boys, I am compelled to reimagine God's love. I am convicted by the humanity of this person and the other folks we met during the above meeting and also on death row. Our exchange with the death row inmates was filled with the Spirit and tears came to my eyes as I heard the men speak of God's redeeming love in their lives, of the importance of this group time for them (many are in solitary confinement the rest of the time), and the joy with which they interacted with the prison chaplain there.

When we look into another person's eyes, when we shake their hand, we are compelled to recognize our vast similarities rather than differences. I am suddenly aware that you are not only "murderer," but a human just like me. In Genesis, God created humans and declared it good. What a powerful statement for our lives- that we have all been declared good, regardless of our actions!

To leave this at mere theological reflection would be selfish on my part, however. Our love for one another must then become an action, done hand in hand with those who society (but not God) teaches us can be thrown away.

Which part of God's creation can be forgotten, or locked away in the darkness? Who is unworthy of love?

Despite my deep discomfort with the vastness of God's love, I am moved by it and can find no loopholes in it. Thankfully God's love is greater than my own very conditional and sensitive human feelings.

In closing, I owe such a debt of gratitude to the brave men of Riverbend High Security Penitentiary and Rev. Janet Wolf, Jeannie Alexander, and all the others who make this kind of experience possible. To all my new and old friends at Vanderbilt Divinity School, I strongly encourage you to get into the class! (Taught at the prison with VDS students and insiders in the class).

I am so humbled by the power of love in my life and so grateful to be at Wesley, where I can take life-changing trips with my classmates.

Some photos of our time in Nash-vegas. :)